Hello, July.

i sort of hoped this blog would be a day to day thing, the truth is i am getting bored about writing about food and how much i eat. the thing is and this is the goddamn truth of it all, it is not about the way i look, it is about the fact that i don't seem to have any control over food, and i don't understand why. and this is why i cannot even be bothered to blog. eat eat eat. so, the last few days have consisting of eating. a lot. it's like, when i eat i don't have any responsibilities, i can just eat and i can hope that the next day will be better and maybe parts of me will convince myself that the next day will be better. actually, i know i do that. i am so optimistic that the next day will be better. you know how religious people have control because they'll make some promise to god and if they don't keep it, they'll die or whatever, i wish i had that. I HAVE NOTHING. *sobs* 

maybe, i'll say to myself "hey audrey, u know those valentino shoes you've been craving over, well guess what darling, they're yours."

until tomorrow, ciao